How we're renegotiating our marriage with our yearly "relationship ...

Homie Cassandra left this awesome comment on our post about long-term relationships. So of course we asked her to elaborate and turn it into an awesome guest post.

When I was in my 20s I went to acting school in NYC. I had a terrible and abusive teacher whom I ended up despising. Despite that, she mentioned something one day that had a great influence on me. She was approaching her 35th wedding anniversary and offhandedly said that she and her husband renegotiated their marriage each year on their anniversary. I loved the idea and 13 years later, when I started dating my husband, incorporated it on the anniversary of our first date.

So for our anniversary we have our "relationship summit" or our "State Of The Union" address. We talk about where we are and what we want and if changes need to be made. This can be anything from "I don't want children, and if you do I love you and don't want to deprive you of them, so maybe we should part ways" (dating anniversary #2), to "pick up your socks" (somewhere around wedding anniversary #3 or 4), to "I see recurring patterns that cause you suffering. And even though this isn't about me, I don't want to get to old age and still see you suffering. Will you please think about getting some counseling, for the both of us?" (last year).

But what's more important is the time when we come to "I want to stay married to you for another year." It really is optional. A few years ago when mid-life crisis hit my husband and I was afraid he was thinking about leaving I reminded him that he had re-upped for at least another 10 months and he owed it to me to hang and see if we could work it out. We did.

We shared this practice at our wedding, which was on our anniversary (which happens to be Valentine's Day). We even had a wedding "intermission" where we went off into seclusion to do the summit. It was a great opportunity to be alone for 15 minutes and to really center ourselves.

These are the big issues. Ones that can't be solved when things are heated and doors are slamming. Ones that won't resolve themselves with makeup sex.

I remember once talking to a younger person about it in our early years and he said "That's great. That means you actually talk about stuff." It may seem like an artifice but we do, indeed, talk about stuff. Usually over a nice dinner (before drinks). And it's not just limited to that once a year.

A few weeks ago, after I had a disturbing dream where my husband told me he was leaving for greener pastures, I talked to him and said "I don't want to be just the greener pasture, I want to be the greenest pasture. And I want you to think about it for our next summit." These are the big issues. Ones that can't be solved when things are heated and doors are slamming. Ones that won't resolve themselves with makeup sex.

So even though that teacher wasn't great she did teach me som'n. Wasn't about acting but it was about life. And though I still wouldn't thank her to her face I will spread her lesson. Think about it. It works for us. We've been together for 19 years now and married for 13 and I see a long future ahead. One that we'll live without feeling terminally trapped but with freedom of choice.

Source: http://offbeathome.com/2013/06/how-were-renegotiating-our-marriage-with-our-yearly-relationship-summit

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Kerry pledges US help for India's massive higher ed needs | MinnPost

On a visit to?India,?US Secretary of State John Kerry?pushed today for greater bilateral cooperation on higher education, stating that his host's education system is facing "gigantic challenges."

With the world's advanced economies facing a graying workforce, India will head into the next decade with a median age of 29 and two-thirds of its people of working age. That's a huge potential boon for India ? but only if those workers are educated. Currently, only 18 percent of its youth get any higher education.?

Addressing the third round of the Singh-Obama Knowledge Initiative in Delhi, Secretary Kerry announced eight institutional partnerships and pledged to help with skill development of Indian youth. "We need to make sure that next generation of innovators and entrepreneurs have the skills and training," he said.

India had set itself a goal of?building 1,000 universities and 50,000 colleges in this decade, something the Monitor?devoted a cover story?last year to exploring. Given the enormity of that task in a short time frame, the country is also looking for quicker, less traditional means of spreading post-secondary education including online education and community colleges. For the latter, India is looking to the US as a model, with plans of establishing 200 large American-style community colleges.

"The quality of higher education in India is a matter of concern and cooperation with the?United States?can help with that. We seek to increase our higher education enrollment ratio to 30 percent by 2020 and skill development will be a key part of it," says Ashok Thakur, secretary of higher education in the Indian government.

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and President Obama had announced their joint Initiative in November 2009, pledging $5 million each for higher education cooperation through projects that will work on educational reform, foster economic growth, generate shared knowledge to address global challenges, and develop junior faculty at Indian and American institutions of higher learning.?

The eight memoranda of understanding signed between the two countries today included the Harvard-India Nutrition Initiative between Harvard School of Public Health and St. John's Research Institute, Bangalore; between Aligarh Muslim University and Ohio State University, and between Assam Agricultural University and Washington State University.

Next month, new Indian rules will go into effect that open the door to US universities opening campuses in India. The offer is only open to the most prestigious nonprofit institutions, which will diminish the impact of the ruling.?

In the area of online education, India is laying a high-bandwidth network of fiber optic cables between the nation's top universities. Officials here are looking to the US for ideas on how to deliver high-quality lessons online. A memorandum of understanding signed today between the Indian Institute of Technology, Mumbai and the?Massachusetts Institute of Technology?will bring to India the edX online course platform founded by MIT along with Harvard University. edX offers free university-level courses worldwide.?

The United States is also encouraging its students to study in India's elite educational institutions. There are currently 5,000 American students in Indian Universities, and the number is expected to triple in the next five years. Yet that number is a fraction of those heading to more mature and internationally recognized institutions in Europe.

"Ultimately India has to focus on institution building and giving its students the best teachers,"??says Prof. Yash Pal, who chaired a 2009 commission that advised structural changes in India's higher education system. "There's only so much that outsiders can help."

Source: http://www.minnpost.com/christian-science-monitor/2013/06/kerry-pledges-us-help-indias-massive-higher-ed-needs

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Police dog killed, officer shot in Indiana standoff

By Elisha Fieldstadt, NBC News

A K-9 officer was shot and killed in Sellersburg, Indiana at the start of a nine-hour police standoff with a man who fled from and shot at?officers trying to serve him with a warrant on Monday, police said.

Sellersburg police officers approached a man with a warrant and he ran away and then fired several shots, said Sellersburg Police Trooper Brock McCooe. The shots?hit a police dog and a deputy.

The human officer was shot in the leg and was in stable condition at a nearby hospital, but the K-9 officer was fatally wounded, said McCooe.

According to NBC affiliate Wave 3 News, the dog's name was Kilo, and he had assisted with numerous drug busts.

The suspect ran into a house? that was empty at the time and barricaded himself inside, officials said.

Judy Frazier lives three houses away from where the suspect holed up, and said she had not been able to leave her own home for most of the afternoon and evening.

?The SWAT teams are on roofs they?re in yards, they?re everywhere,? she said while the standoff continued.

McCooe said the suspect finally responded to commands through a loudspeaker a little after 9:30 p.m. ?He just walked out and gave up,? he said.

In a statement following the suspect?s surrender, Sellersburg Police Chief Russ Whelan said the man came out of a closet and then emerged out of the backdoor wearing a torn up t-shirt and his boxer shorts. He was unarmed and not injured even though Whelan said police had thrown about 40 tear gas canisters into the house.

?Now the work starts as far as processing the scene and collecting the evidence and building our case,? said Whelan.

Authorities on Monday night had not yet released the name of the captured man.

The wounded officer, Chris Proctor, is a member of the Clark County SWAT team, who were early to the scene to assist Sellersburg police. Clark County Sheriff Daniel Rodden said Proctor will have surgery on his knee on Tuesday morning but is ?in good spirits.?

Source: http://feeds.nbcnews.com/c/35002/f/653381/s/2dbc132b/l/0Lusnews0Bnbcnews0N0C0Inews0C20A130C0A60C240C191195180Epolice0Edog0Ekilled0Eofficer0Eshot0Ein0Eindiana0Estandoff0Dlite/story01.htm

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Christian Rocker Slams Kanye West as Blasphemous, False God

Source: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2013/06/christian-rocker-slams-kanye-west-as-blasphemous-false-god/

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Source: http://rss.news.yahoo.com/rss/weightloss

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NFL Communications - NFL Creates ?Deacon Jones Award? ?

To permanently honor the impact of DEACON JONES on the NFL, beginning in 2013 and in each season beyond, the player with the most sacks will be presented with the ?DEACON JONES AWARD.?

The award will be featured annually on NFL Honors, the league?s primetime awards event held the night before the Super Bowl.

?Deacon Jones was an icon among icons,? said NFL Commissioner ROGER GOODELL.? ?Even with his fellow Hall of Famers, Deacon Jones held a special status.? He was a hard-charging football player and the original sack artist who coined the term.? He is warmly regarded by his peers not only as one of the greatest players in NFL history but also for his tremendous influence and sense of humor. ?This award will ensure that players, coaches, fans and the media will remember the impact that Deacon had on all of us and know that he represents unique qualities deserving of this kind of honor.?

Deacon Jones died on June 3 at the age of 74.? One of the greatest defensive players in NFL history, Jones was a fixture at defensive end from 1961-74 with the Rams, Chargers and Redskins, earning unanimous all-league honors in five consecutive seasons.? He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

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Source: http://nflcommunications.com/2013/06/24/nfl-creates-deacon-jones-award/

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'Mad Men' season finale: Don Draper's Nine Circles of Hell

By Tim Molloy

NEW YORK (Reuters) - "Mad Men" began its sixth and possibly best season with Don Draper reading "Dante's Inferno" - and ended Sunday with him trying to stop some of the sins that lead to its nine circles.

The inferno punishes according to the degree of a person's sin - and Don's sins this season would easily land him in the ninth. But in the season finale, he began to pull back from the life he's created, and to admit to the hellish one he was born into. The episode's final scene found him showing his children the dilapidated former "whore house" where he grew up as the orphaned Dick Whitman. Don looks to his daughter, Sally, who has begun to imitate his penchant for drunkenness and using a fake name.

His look doesn't ask her to forgive him for keeping his latest dirty secret - an affair with his neighbor - but it does seem to ask her to understand why he is the way he is.

Even as Don peels back the mask, he is being out out-Don Drapered by Bob Benson, the total fraud Pete Campbell describes as an "accomplice to murder" after his friend Manolo apparently married Pete's mother and pushed her from a cruise ship. We learned last episode that Benson once served as a manservant to a senior vice president who took him across the Atlantic on another pleasure cruise. We wonder: How long have they fantasized about pushing someone over the railing?

There's little question that Manolo's motive was financial: As Bob has told us repeatedly, he doesn't like women. But we know, as Manolo didn't, that Pete's mother was broke. In the finale's one unlikely scene, Pete and his brother convince themselves that Manolo will slink away once he learns no fortune awaits him - and both seem willing to let that happen.

Bob also manages to get Pete kicked off the Chevy account by revealing Pete's own dark secret: He can't drive. As Bob's machinations lead to humiliation and even a connection to a murder, we see that he is reaching levels of manipulation that even Don hasn't matched.

But Don may be winning at another game: Staying out of hell's hottest circles. Here are the levels of the inferno, and which "Mad Men" characters Dante might place within them:

First Circle (Limbo): The domain of the unbaptized and virtuous pagans. Lots of "Mad Men" characters are unbaptized, but are any really virtuous? This seems like only the domain of babies and children. Maybe Dante would place Dr. Rosen and Michael Ginsburg here just for not being Christian. But elsewhere he encounters two virtuous non-Christians in Heaven. If Ginsburg and especially Rosen don't deserve a happy afterlife, we don't know who does.

Second Circle (Lust): I'm hard-pressed to think of a "Mad Men" character who doesn't lust - again, with the exception of babies, children, Rosen, Ginsburg and Burt Peterson. Although Benson seems more driven by opportunism than lust.

Third Circle (Gluttony): Again. Since gluttony includes booze, nearly anyone on the show could end up here - except kids, Rosen, Ginsburg and Benson. Pete, Burt, Joan, Trudy and several secondary characters also seem okay on the gluttony front. (Actually, Trudy seems safe on every front. You blew it, Pete.) In the season finale, Don also seemed to be forswearing drunkenness. We'll see how that goes.

Fourth Circle (Greed): Since most "Mad Men" characters are financially secure, they seem driven more by a desire for power than for money. But that's still greed. And the power they desire is usually the power to keep others from challenging them. Don is greedy in his desire to keep Ted from taking over his control of the agency, which doesn't work out in the finale: He is asked to take an indefinite leave, just as poor pants-wetting Freddy Rumsen was asked to do in Season 2. And when last we saw Peggy, she was sitting in Don's office chair, perhaps planning a redesign.

But in Don's favor, he seems to have deliberately sabotaged himself by delivering Hershey perhaps the most awkward pitch in the history of advertising. He may also have redeemed himself a bit by unselfishly letting Ted go to California.

Fifth Circle (Anger): This could be a lot of people. Don gets angry at Ted, who gets angry at Don. Peggy is also angry at Ted. Sally is very, very angry at Don. So, probably, is Megan. Pete is understandably angry at Bob, but is it really a sin to be mad at an "accomplice to murder," or a cheating father? Really Dante? (We never said the Inferno was a perfect system.)

Sixth Circle (Heresy): Almost everyone on "Mad Men" is guilty of thinking outside orthodoxy. That's what they're paid to do. You know who else thought outside the accepted orthodoxy? Jesus Christ. Again, not a perfect system.

Seventh Circle (Violence): Not many on "Mad Men" are violent - except for Don, who, okay, punched a minister, and Manolo, who pitched an old lady off a ship. Don also got in a pathetic fight a while back with Duck Phillips, who is apparently helping replace Don at Sterling Cooper & Partners. I'm pretty sure Don would prefer the seventh circle of hell, where he would probably be in the outer ring reserved for those who hurt other people and property. But honestly, I don't think Don has a consistent enough history of violence to end up there.

Eighth Circle (Fraud): I'm fairly certain there's a nice table reserved for Bob and Manolo. Don seems to be trying fervently to cancel his reservation.

Ninth Circle (Treachery): We're well accustomed to Don's lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, occasional violence and fraud. What made him truly despicable this season was his treachery. Rosen is perhaps the best human being on "Mad Men" - remember his skiing to the hospital to perform heart surgery? - and Don had an affair with his wife. (It was good Catholic Sylvia Rosen, in fact, who told Don to read "The Inferno.")

Don may have tried to set things right by getting the Rosens' son out of Vietnam, but Don committed another betrayal in the process: Ted pulled some strings on Don's behalf to get the boy into the Air National Guard, and Don in turn shook Ted's hand and agreed to work together. But he quickly betrayed Ted by pursuing the Sunkist account, once he realized Ted's interest in Peggy.

The Sunkist account may also have given Don a chance to another make-good, however, since Don agreed to let Ted to go to California to handle it.

Does this get Don out of the Ninth Circle? We have one season to go.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/mad-men-season-finale-don-drapers-nine-circles-185618603.html

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